Tears of the Heart

Sometimes
no matter
how much
you love someone
or they love you
something 
happens and suddenly
the one you want to share
everything with
is like a stranger to you
or you to them

It is a deafening sound
that of a heart that cries
tears not always seen
but nonetheless they fall
and as we struggle to find
a way back "home"
to eachother
we understand
that even if we do
it may never be quite
the same

It takes so much more
than what we first believe
in order for love to survive
the things that life can throw 
in its path
we find that we are able
to hold on only when there
is mutual effort and hope
when the tears fade
we are left either with
a new path that we can walk 
 without worry of the  ground 
giving way or we realize
there is no longer a reason to stay together
and far too many not to.

When the heart cries
the tears fall like rain
into the soul
and when the tears fade
we will have released the hand
of the one we love
and they ours
or we will find ourselves
holding more tightly then ever before
...take not lightly
the tears of the heart.

Whisper

When the sun slips away
and the moon and stars
fill the night sky
I wonder where you are
at that very moment
and what you are doing

So many miles
between us yet I believe
that love is able to cross
those miles simply by a single thought
a memory, a song, or a mothers'
soft, simple whisper
I love you .

Each parent
must learn to let go
when their child
begins their own journey
it is by far the hardest thing
I have ever had to do

letting go while all the while
holding on , wanting her never
to doubt that I am close by
and that I know she is ready
to use her own wings now

I close my eyes
and can hear the flutter
of those precious wings
as they pass by
and my heart is comforted
for the love we share
is forever
and no measure of distance
can change that fact.
 aug. 3, 2013

Heartbeat

Heartbeat

The first time
I held you in my arms
placing my ear to your chest
listening to your soft sweet
heart beating
I knew I was listening
to most beautiful melody
that I had ever heard in all my life
and no others would ever
compare to its beauty.

Sweet daughter
I cherish you
and I love you all the way from
Heaven to Earth
and back again

mama.   Aug. 3, 2013

First Home Together

Oh sweet daughter
and oh yes, you too
sweet son in law to be
one day...(right? right)

this is an exciting day
you moved into your very
own place together
and now the fun begins

There will be moments
when you find that you 
just a moment or two
of "space" from one another
and so you must learn
not to take it too personal
sharing a place is wonderful
but you still want to maintain
your "individuality"
also, a little bit of time 
not spent together 
will make the time you do spend
even better

you dont have to wonder
far away, just into another room
or take a walk outside
and when you do think about
the two of you
of all you have been through
and of your future dreams
and plans
when the moon is full
gaze upon it and make wishes together
always remember
to support one another
count on eachother
respect, honor, cherish
all important to hold onto
especially when the days may be hectic
when you may be short on cash
or one of you left an empty milkcarton 
in the fridge or you lose your keys
or forgot to do some necessary "household" chore
When life gets hectic
and yes, it will, even in "la la perfect land"
just breathe, just pray , thank God for all your blessings
especially the blessing of LOVE
which is the foundation most important
and that turns a place to live
into a place you both think of as "HOME"

Enjoy this brand new adventure
laugh at all the little things
like the table you make out of  an  ironing board, lowered
just enough for the two of you to sit side by side
or the pillows you place in your living room
which you will call "the couch"
the book shelves that perhaps are pieces of wood
on top of a few cement blocks...you can paint them rainbow
or decorate them with beads and things...you will use your 
imaginations and you will make somethings out of nothings 
and they will be awesome to you,not because they are perfect
or expensive things from some department store, but because
each thing,every thing,will be yours...yours together.

so, do some dancing
do some singing
eat some cookies, after the top ramen dinner
make plans, watch movies, rest in eachothers arms
and oh dont forget, call your mom 

Congrats on your first new home together
may it be blessed with good friends that visit
good memories that you hold close to heart forever
may God send Angels to keep you safe
and may laughter and joy and love be the paintbrush
that you paint your home with.  

Dear Daughter, Dear son in law to be( yes, yes)
I send you best wishes and all my love

BLESSED BE

A Moment in Time

You were unexpected
You were a comet headed towards earth
ready to make your mark
you were the distant star
that  wishes were made upon
the glowing full moon
lighting up the dark sky

You were the start of a melody
lyrics being placed on fragile paper
all around you we gathered
our thoughts our prayers
our joys our fears
our smiles
and sadly, our tears

A delicate butterfly
landing for only a brief
Moment in time
then chosing to return
to higher ground
to Heavens gate you returned
leaving us feeling sad
and empty
and yet blessed nonetheless
for you were here, yes,
you were here
For a Moment in Time
you touched our lives
and although we never met
you are an Angel
we will never forget.

Bless you sweet little one
rest in Gods loving arms
Only a Moment in Time
but you were already loved
and you will always be .


For the moment
for the promise of a next time
thank you precious one.

There Was A Time

There was a time
when she was
a ballerina
at least she pretended
to be

There was a time
when she was invisable
because she needed
to be

There was a time
when she found 
that she had wings
and oh yes,
she did in fact fly

There was a time
when her wings
were clipped
and she landed
on the ground

but she knew
that her wings
would mend
for they were destined
to help her soar
even higher
than she ever did before.

The Vow

Some people

say the words

and truly mean them

some people

say the words

and feel they 

mean  them

some people

say the words

thinking 

they mean them

some people

say the words

and think

should I be

doing this?

Then think 

too late, I'm already here

Some people

say the words

and cherish them forever

some find themselves

wondering why the ever

said them at all

sometimes people

say the words, the vows

"I  Do"

but actually are saying

"I Do" ...MAYBE.

My /Beloved Daughter

You hold within your hands
countless blessings from Heaven

each time you smile
your bring warmth to the world
each time you sing or laugh
I am sure you touch the hearts
of Angels above as well as here on Earth

your love is a constant confirmation
to me that there indeed exists a higher
magnificent power
that we as human beings
can only begin to understand

it is to this higher power
that I give daily praise and gratitude
for the honor of being a parent

my precious daughter
how can I ever express enough
the love I hold for you?
I can only pray that somehow, someway
you may be able to hear the words
spoken by the voice of my soul
and in doing so you will truly know
the blessing, the miracle you are
and always will be to me.

my daughter, my child, my beloved
when you were born you took my breath away
I see you now , the remarkable young woman 
that you are, and once again...you take my
breath away.  I am so proud of you. I admire
and respect you. I pray for you always 
and forever you will hold my heart
within yours.   I love you.

mama. 

Gracefully

As I grow older
I now notice little things
like my hands, they are not as pretty
as they once were, but they still
can hold things, and I can touch and feel things
especially when another takes hold of them

I have noticed my bones crack
as I move about
and my once pretty smile
is now without some of the teeth
I once had, and yet , still I am able to eat
and still , when I smile, others still smile back

I see little lines on my forehead
laugh lines by my mouth
and tiny lines above my lips
but the lines that exist I earned them
from so much life...with its times of laughter
times of worry, with its good times, and with its bad
all the joys and also the loss and sorrow and pain
I look in the mirror now
and I see a woman who prays to grow old
not in fear, not in discust , not fighting all the way
but who does so gracefully
thankful for every moment
realizing she has been so very blessed
all the days of her life

In my youth I did not see myself
as pretty or special, I did not stand out 
from the crowd
but always I knew that I was called upon
to reach out to others
to whisper in their ear
believe in yourself, enjoy your life
laugh and learn and play and listen
tell stories, share your heart
you are special, important and loved
always, I have felt this is a message
I needed to share, and so i do as often as possible

I no longer look in the mirror
and see a young woman
and there are times when I do admit
I miss her, maybe because I did not know her
as well as I wish I could have
I think about her and the path she walked
thinking to myself now, all in all, her footsteps
although not always taken on smooth and perfect roads
they all have been important and have brought 
her exactly where she needed to be

So here I am, at 58, no longer very young
and yet still there is a little girl who likes to play
and dance and sing and laugh alot
and these wrinkles and these bones that sometimes ache
and crack when I move about
are still just fine and what matters most
is that we live our lives as fully as possible
with gentle spirits, compassionate hearts
and hopefully, I pray, grow older and wiser
and closer to the Divine, and do so gracefully.

When

It is not our place
to know when
we are going to leave this world

Free will
does not apply
in this matter

We need to try
and not fear
when we will be leaving
how we will be taken
where we will be going

There is nothing
we can do to stop it
we all are on a journey
for as long as it takes
to accomplish that which is our purpose
each of us with a destiny

It is important to embrace each passing moment
to understand and be grateful for the gift that each is
The passing of time is so swift
one minute we are so very young
just starting to find our way in the world
the next,we have had years becoming
who we are now...and are closer to
the end of our journey here on earth
then seems possible, and yet , is.

We are follower, leaders
we are teachers, students
we are mentors,friends , family
we are less than what we will be tomorrow
more than what we were yesterday
as we watch the hours of this day pass

When it is time to leave the place
it will seem to some, just not the right time
and yet, it will be OUR time
we we will leave behind loved ones
and they will remember us
and they will miss us
and they will reach out to us
and I believe, yes, I really do
that We will still be close enough to hear them
see them ,speak to them , watch over them
love them...we will no longer have these
human vessels in which we are forced to exist
no longer will we have to be in just one place
but rather will be free to be in many
We will know beauty
that we have forgotten
from when we were in Heaven
before we came to be
before we eventually took on more human
than Angelic ways

We do not know when
we only know that we will be called
to leave one day
and when we do I hope
it is a day not only of sorrow
or shock or feeling of loss
but also of celebration for the life lived
and the lives touched through that existance

It is never the right time for others
onlythe right time for our spirit
and our soul ...when? don't know
not sure would want to if I could know
best to live the moments
best to live fully and freely and with deep faith
and convictions and with limitless love
...knowing we are all connected
and that one day, we will be together again..
when? does not really matter
all that matters is that we WERE.